Pronouns
What they are, and how to be respectful
What are pronouns?
From a grammatical standpoint, pronouns are how you refer to someone in the third person, like she/her, he/him, they/them. In the queer community however, pronouns are a way to self-identify with or without labels. It’s important not to assume anything about someone’s pronouns, especially because many people identify with multiple pronouns, or none at all.
Pronouns are not the same as gender.
Everyone’s identity is up to them. There is no correct way to use pronouns, and being aware of not assuming anything is very important. Someone might identify as a girl, use they/them pronouns, identify as agender and use all pronouns, and accepting that is a great way to be a queer, or not queer, ally.
Using Pronouns Respectfully
What To Do If You Accidentally Misgender Someone:
If you know their correct pronouns, it’s ok!
Apologize
Correct yourself
Don’t blow it out of proportion! Remember, it was just a mistake!
What do you do if they correct you?
Say something along the lines of “Okay, or Thanks for telling me.”
Correct yourself
If you are surprised to hear their pronouns, remember not to challenge it!
What To Do If Someone Else Gets Misgendered
Even if they aren’t there, say something!
Correct them. Say something like, “I think they use __/__ pronouns.”
Remember to be gentle! It was just a mistake.
If they continue to misgender the person or say something that feels wrong, stand up to them!
What do you do if someone gets misgendered, and they are there?
Be a good judge of if you should say something.
If they stand up for themself and correct the person who misgendered them, you don’t need to do anything.
If you know the person was misgendered but they don’t say anything, stand up for them!
Correct the person who was misgendering, but ask for reassurance from the person who got misgendered, to make sure you are right.